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This is an actual letter
printed in the November 7, 2004 Ann Arbor News. It
was wedged in between missives about the recent election and
other events of interest.
It is agreed that this
incident is worthy of being published within the
Op/Ed page of one of the biggest newspapers in Michigan.
Taking this further, I'd like to suggest the News dispatch a team of
journalists to investigate the following events that have
occurred in towns across America since the birth of our country:
- Destroyed snowmen
- Toilet-paper-riddled
trees
- Smashed pumpkins
- Late night bottle
rocketry & M-80s
- Soaped Car Windows
- Flaming bags of poop
- Crushed mailboxes
- Ding, dong, ditches
- Prank phone calls
- Stolen 'For Sale' signs
- Redistribution of
formerly raked leaves
- 'Forking'
yards
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