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Breaking News: Saddam Captured
Wolverine Team takes down the
missing Iraqi leader; Nick Nolte
relieved
SALINE, MICHIGAN DECEMBER 14,
2003
Saddam
Hussein surrendered Saturday without
a shot in some rat-ridden hole in a
farmhouse in southern Tikrit.
He was found with 2 AK-47s and $750K
US [greenbacks - he's no fool].
The money was reported to be in the
form of $100 bills - memo to Saddam,
maybe next time you should consider
carrying something a little easier
to tote around such as a credit card
or a cashier's check.
The capture was made by
United States Wolverine
Combat Team #1 during Operation Red
Dawn. People everywhere celebrated
the capture of the dictator, some by
firing shots into the air; some by
raising their coffee mugs.
Wolverine Combat Team #2 is
preparing for the Rose Bowl.
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While it's not official, it appears as
though Saddam will officially take the title of "Scariest Looking
Mug Shot" from accomplished actor Nick Nolte.
"We'll wait for word from the
Academy of Heinous Mugshots (AHM), but we're very confident", said Nolte's agent Michael Dixon
in a prepared statement on Sunday morning. "The albatross is
about to be removed from Nick's neck and we are thrilled."
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Ask if he had any
advice for Saddam, Dixon added, "You know man,
it's been pretty hellish on Nick since that photo
was released but we've tried to make the best of
it. Nick started his own line of Hawaiian
shirts and hangover remedies that have been
selling really well. Maybe Gillette will
call Saddam's people and work out a deal." |
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